Brad

Sometimes she wonders where that leaves her.

Hopeless and hapless as she waits.

Eternity awaits.

When she said goodbye, unable to know she loved him.

Drifting through time.

Only to come back to the thought of him.

Discovering she loves him, but he’s gone.

Distant words find her, but it’s words for the deaf

Her personal misery and his face in the strangers that pass

All that remains are questions

Does he still think of her when she remembers their first time under mountain skies?

“Sail Away With Me”

See, I do.

Does he seek her eyes in each city, with his next step or new breath?

Is he carried to dreams by the wings of another or is his bed still aching for her?

Perfect forms in the mattress.

And my summers remain heavy because clouds will not clear

My life was left with you.

To know him again.

Untitled XX

Try to forget what I leave behind
Discover my pain what courses through these veins
Plagued walking through this valley as my demons lurk in the hills above
And so I march past, not so fast for fear of the nearing army
I hear their black boots, heels tap fast, as they approach
In the trenches searching for you
Quiet girl
Playful girl
Honest girl
Happy in lust, pubescent pains, simple summers and time
All the time before the war

A Road

The foliage is marked by

the soles

of my feet.

Descending dust

signals my passing presence

to future journeyman.

Dear David Foster Wallace,

The truth of this life
What truth?
These lies?
This life,
is an existence
For whom?

Rolling Joints

Sometimes she waits in the night
Her mirror’s shadows saltant
And taunting until it’s bright
The bravado of her sound
In the walls
Which amplify her laughter
Or when she pauses for the swell
Of her sadness
Carpets catching her tears
Fears blanketed by the sweet haze
But all is blurred for him outside her window pane

Untitled X

Precise pace,
the hour's thin arm repeats its count.

The gong goes,
as time tumults forward.

And the minute's hand recycles sixties.

Existentialism and a Most Obnoxious Cognizance

SCREAMINGatme
RUNNINGfromsanity
CUTTINGatthepast
STARVINGfortomorrow
WHALINGintothewalls
ofmymind.Entropicwindsdistort

reality

that could be

but lofty ideals

forever concealed because of one thought:
I'm everything I'm not.

Portland Alphabet

(Image: Roderick Smith, "Daybreak")

Alberta and 39th, band jam, beers
Bike wars
Concerts at Doug Fir and dancing dirty
Dirty, oh dirty, simian regression
Eating
Food carts. Korean tacos gorging fuel for the
Gorge
Hiking, and like Alaska
Iditarod, urban cart races for day drinking and jubilation
July and August break the rain
Killing time on
Lovejoy with
Mary Jane, wearin' my
Nikes. Drag on my cigarette and I'm sent to
OHSU while still stoned so I enter the purple walls
Powell's social science room. 10 deep is the
Queue for chess at the courthouse square.
Recycled menagerie for sale at Saturday Market.
Stumptown cups trailing in the morning rush and a
Transient, high from the methamphetamine.
Unified liberals in a political vacuum. Solace in
Voodoo. Bacon bars, phalic, fried doughnuts.
William and Meriwether students remember Cobain at
XXX Marys. Can't stop now because
Yesterday was for catchin' the
Zzzs.

Episodic

At the heart of the human condition lies cowardice
if we let it
because our nerves tighten at the energy of deception
and the moment
when we give into our weaknesses.

So I disappeared.
My sins weighing heavy and I crawl out of the grave
dug deeper than the requisite six foot depth
for a corpse.

Instead,
the hole
reaches
to the earth's
core

Where my past turns to ash in the molten mantle.

But before
I run away,
I wonder if you too have sinned against me,
but the equilibrium is not enough
to keep me here
for I will keep punishing you, or myself.
I don't know anymore
where the line begins
and when it will ever
end.

Untitled 3

Existence is so easy for some.
Inhalation
chewswallowpisssmileworkplaychatlaugh
Exhalation

The energy
to breath and appease the tears
that tempest behind disquieted
eyes.

Too much
too long
tomorrow never comes.

Living today's light
and the hours move on
waiting for midnight to come.

Today, a Picnic

An early spring, deserved.
Families crowd under, the sun.
Little babies coddled, at breasts.
Purple pacifiers, protrude.
From fattened mouths.
Mothers in their summer, dresses.
Flowing floral parade, softens.
February's passage into, the ides.
But for now, picnic basket.
In the park and we, pretend.
It will never, end.

Wordy

Don't forget two grab too of those to.
I won't come if you don't cum here.
As the raining runner, I go weather or not the whether reigns.
Forget that I have for kisses four you.
Hour song played on the radio every our.
My sole lies in the distance that my souls can run.
Icarus was the sun who flew high to the son.
Life starts when all you sea is the see.
Getting so hi and saying "high" instead of "goodbye."
There falling so fast from they're podium their.

Don't Pity Me

cuz I'm a crazy cool cat
give me a kiss
tackle me in the mud
and sully my white summer dress

smile under covers
in the morning
before brushing
after fucking

Love me
Forget me
Hold me
Need me
Leave me
Paint me
Remember me

Untitled 2

Ragged roads.
Losing lane lines of sight
beyond bends.
Bending crooked journeys
from circuitous pavement.

Non linear reasons beyond me.
Desire's destiny beyond
essing interstates mark
lanes impassable.

Endless roads truncate
rolling stones
gather moss.
Errosive rock.

Journeymen sling Socratic notions.
Still waiting for answers
about simple solutions
around the mountain
the road reaches round
dragging on the journey.

All the while
never asking
why they
never build straight.

Untitled 1

Cuz the devil and me dancing free
in the night, knocking out light
with our tap, tap, tapping toes
and you'll see us tracing constellations
because the devil runs free
and me
I ain't got nothin' but me
and the devil makes two.